English, The Universal Language?

T
HE ENGLISH LANGUAGE MAY BE UNIVERSAL BUT IT CAN DEFINITELY BE HARD TO LEARN. PONDER THESE LINES -



- The Bandage was wound around the wound.

- The farm used to produce produce.

- We must polish the polish furniture.

- He could lead if he would get the lead out.

- The solider decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

- A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

- I did not object to the object.

- The Insurance was invalid for in the invalid.

- They were too close to the door to close it.

- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

Lets face it, the English language is crazy. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candles while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We also wonder why quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig. And why is that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? One goose, two geese - why not one moose, two meese? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?